TOM ROWE
AND THE HOLY ENROLLERS

We honor our colleague, Tom Rowe
And we say that, as registrars go,

He’s the top of the heap
The one we will keep —

The one we will never let go

And around him, a wonderful team
Managing a continuous stream

Of numbers and students
With precision and prudence —

We’re so lucky — this group is a dream

The financial aid they award . . .
The student accounts they record . . .

The student advising
(At times improvising) —

Not the slightest point value ignored

Think of the credits they’re tracking . . .
The files they’re storing and stacking . . .

The grades they’re compiling
The transcripts they’re filing . . .

And never a moment for slacking

The details they have to take care of!
Policies they’re always aware of

Numbers unceasing
And ever increasing . . .

The regulations they have to beware of . . .

The nerve center of this great place —
We grow — they keep pace with the pace

They keep it all going
And flowing and growing —

And all with such skill and such grace

They’re MUM’s Full-Service Operators
Our Titanic Team of Non-Stoperators

Our Holy Enrollers
Our Source-Course-and-Goalers —

Our Always-Staying-On-Toperators

They’re our campus’s Houston Control
Guiding students from the start to the goal —

From the time they touch down
To the cap and the gown —

From the parts helping fashion a whole

Tom is the Raja of Reports:
Always producing all sorts —

He’s the man we believe in —
Balanced and even —

And always the greatest of sports

With sharp focus and broad comprehension
He reports on attrition, retention,

Graduation rates,
Calendar dates —

All receive his enlightened attention

Tom Rowe is a registrar saint —
Unbounded, he knows no constraint

And someday, quite soon
He’ll grant us this boon —

An enrollment report done in paint

And on top of it all — graduation
It’s a model of organization

From the gowns to the band
To the scripts on the stand —

We give him a standing ovation

Tom’s life would be truly sublime —
Achieve perfect rhythm and rhyme,

Bubbling bliss,
If we added just this:

Faculty turn grades in on time!

February 20, 2013

The students they’re always enrolling
Extolling
Controlling

Block
Clock

Smile
Style
Aisle

water, hydrogenated vegetable oil (including coconut and palm oils), high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, skim milk, light cream, and less than 2% sodium caseinate (a milk derivative), natural and artificial flavor, xanthan and guar gums, polysorbate 60, sorbitan monostearate, and beta carotene (as a coloring).