Susan Runkle

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

SUSAN

What would we do without Susan?
We’d probably be taking a bruisin’ —

The student unrestedness,
The ways they’d have tested us —

Not quite the life of our choosin’

She hails from up north in Canada
Cool country — much less insanita —

Less stress, we hear
Than places down here

Like New York and LA and Atlanata

On our campus, Susan’s the mother
Over our acres she’ll hover —

With what is she dealing?
Fine levels of feeling —

It’s hard to imagine another

She’s here with the hugest of hearts
When dealing with pierced body parts

With tact and with grace
She covers this place

With compassion that tops all the charts

She’s constantly on the alert
For the unshaven face, the short skirt,

For the door that is propped,
The RC that’s stopped —

For dangers she’d like to avert

This enlightened of all student deans
Has a sweet understanding of teens —

Their hormones, their cell phones,
Their time zones, their gemstones

And all the betwixts and betweens

Invincibly sweet and serene
She hears their concerns with cuisine

The gentlest guide,
She turns them inside

And makes sure they’re on the routine

What other counterpart deans
Are keeping an eye out for jeans?

Whatever the hour
She’s purpose, she’s power,

She’s compassion, and all that that means

She’s ever vivacious and youthful
Ever speak-the-sweet-truthful

If birds of her feather
Are flocking together

We hope that she has a whole roof-ful

She’s nourishment, strength, and support
Both on and away from the court

Her enlightened attention
Exceeds comprehension —

We’re happy she’s captured our fort

She married a man name of Runk
Vibrant of voice — and a hunk

A conveyor of kings —
And the snacks that he brings!

And humor — he came with a chunk

Now Runk is a colorful character
And smart — he married and barracked her

What can we say?
Runk’s done OK —

He did something awesome to merit her

She’s here with the hugest of hearts
And sensitivity, sweetness, and smarts

May her work be a breeze
Of delight and of ease —

And we hope that she never departs

May 10, 2006