Robert Schneider

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

DR. SCHNEIDER

We know a good doctor named Schneider
None bolder, or better, or brighter

A getter of grants —
And now, not by chance,

He’s also a best-selling writer

He studies with skill (almost stealth)
The National Institutes of Health

Then submits applications
And then — celebrations!

He’s accessed the national wealth

Dr. Schneider has had quite a knack
With colleges historically black

His clinical trials
Leave patients in smiles

And physiologies on the right track

He’s added a whole new dimension
To researches on hypertension

Cardiovascular disease
Is now treated with ease —

It’s knowledge he just loves to mention

To arteries hardened with plaque
Posing risk of stroke, heart attack —

On rooftops he’ll stand,
Studies in hand,

Showing the simple way back

Transcend, he says — simply transcend
Bliss grows and imbalances end

Maharishi’s technique
Is what you all seek —

Perfect health is the joy we extend

Arteries grow clean and clear
Carotids — they practically cheer

Enlightenment and health
Is the greatest of wealth —

And now, he declares, it is here

His studies have made headline news
Winning the best of reviews

The Times, Globe, and Post
Each story can boast:

Here is true news you can use

May you play all your pivotal parts
May your book quickly climb up the charts

May your work be a light
Toward a world shining bright

With the healthiest, happiest hearts

December 12, 2006