BOB OATES

All praise to our hero, Bob Oates
The man on whom everyone dotes

When it comes to perfection
He wins the election —

He easily sweeps all the votes

They say that he played semi-pro
But that was a long time ago

In case you’ve not noticed,
His legs have been lotused

But his arm is still good for a throw

Those who were there in the stands
Say Bob was quite good with his hands

Times change, all in all —
Instead of a ball,

A keyboard now takes his commands

Still, no other Governor we can name
Comes close to his athletic fame:

As is well known
Bob stands all alone

In the Semi-Pro Football Hall of Fame

But look at those sparkling eyes, man!
Robert’s a warm and a wise man

His trophy, behold —
Is the Self — it’s pure gold,

More precious than any old Heisman

§ § § §

With Maharishi round the world he flew
And the book from that tour that he drew

Celebrating the Dawn —
That book will live on

With a message that stays ever new

Enlightened Management — there is another
With praise we won’t bother to smother

We’ll simply remark
That it lights up the dark —

A management book like no other

And then, of course, Permanent Peace
His literary wonders won’t cease

To those who appeal
For a world ideal

This book will give them the keys

And then all his books about sports —
A sport played on fields, not on courts

A hundred yards long —
A sport for the strong

And the gritty, by all the reports

For books on the great NFL
Bob Oates was the name that would sell

A Matter of Style
Made Broadway Joe smile —

Bob Oates — you did pretty well

Then Bob went on a sabbatical
And showed his true colors: fanatical

Unfettered at last
He became, in a blast,

Our resident campus free radical

In one of his typical capers
He plunged into technical papers

The man’s a sensation
With such information,

The greatest of movers and shapers

Freedom from Disease — a great force
With his signature style, of course

But without (’tis a shame)
His signature name —

Robert was the silent resource

But Robert himself is unbounded
Remorse for the man is unfounded

Of his goal there’s no doubt:
Let the knowledge go out —

In the Self he is blissfully grounded

Of all of his touchdowns, the greatest
We’d have to declare is his latest —

A profound exploration,
A deep dissertation

On the field of intelligence that made us

He’s taken on quantum mechanics —
A field that provokes public panics

He’s beamed the bright light
Of an intelligence so bright

And illumined its inner dynamics

Bob Oates has a marvelous mind
And the treatise that here he’s designed

Is a great contribution
From this institution

Knowledge of the most brilliant kind

§ § § §

And when Bob became head of PR
Once again he would show he’s a star

An encyclopedia
Of knowledge for the media —

In whatever he does, he goes far

Count up the words that he’s penned
Those words, if placed end to end —

No stumbles or fumbles
No mumbles or grumbles —

They add up to yardage, my friend

He compiled an incredible stat:
Twelve books in twenty years flat

His pencil can pounce —
But the record that counts

Is his knowledge that all this is That

For this man of both mind and heart
Writing’s a craft and an art

If Bob has his way
The dawn will be day

And they’ll compile it into his chart

He plays on a unified field
Where opponents quite readily yield

Each play is a score
A win — and what’s more,

Infinite truth is revealed

He’s crossing the 50-yard line
With the clock showing plenty of time

In his downfield drive
He’s staying alive —

And the game that he plays is divine

His phenomenal talents have shown
That he plays in a league all his own —

Whatever he plays,
On whatever days,

He’s always at play in “the zone”

We pray that the man never leaves
For as everyone knows and believes

He has, from the start,
Bertie’s sweet heart

And the massive intelligence of Jeeves

Robert’s your classic All-Pro
All of his moves have a glow

He’s subtle, he’s smooth
He excites, he can soothe

He’s an honor and pleasure to know

So take off your hats and your coats
Sit down at the grand table d’hôtes

For delectable veggies with groats
For dessert, sweet, fruity compotes
And delicious, cool raspberry floats
So soothing to palates and throats

The feast that’s prepared
Is now to be shared

In honor of dear Robert Oates

Then sound the melodious notes
Read the inspiring quotes

He’s breaking away!
He’ll go all the way!

All praise to our hero, Bob Oates!

March 22, 2015