MUM Tributes | Greg Guthrie

Greg Guthrie

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GREG GUTHRIE

Greg never seems to get tired
In fact, Greg is always inspired

Never once flagging,
Nor sagging, nor dragging

The reason? Greg Guthrie is WIRED!

Look beyond the man’s necktie and suit
Check the hardware — whoa, boy, it’s a beaut!

Benchmarks? The finest
Ratings? Divinest

He’s hard-wired where! The Absolute

His neuronal bandwidth? — tremendous
His synaptic network? — stupendous

You want some e-mail?
Man, can he wail!

Greg-G, you really can send us

With the power of Crays in his pocket
And the processing speed of a rocket —

You want to see fast!
Sorry — it’s past —

The clock isn’t made that can clock it

Here he sits — see how he’s beaming
We pinch ourselves — no, we’re not dreaming

Power, indeed —
His brain has such speed

We only can say, Greg is screaming!

Now Greg has a lot on his plate
(Perhaps a bit less on his pate)

From seaboard to seaboard
He’s King of the Keyboard —

Greg is the great among great

Greg is impossible to crash
Nothing gets lost in his trash

Greg likes to phone us
With this pleasing bonus:

“Call me if you need extra cache/cash”

His monitor never shows blips
(Except for his humorous quips)

Whoa! Time for a snack
Greg’ll be back —

He’s just gone to eat a few chips

These facts about Greg are reportable:
He serves us at rates quite affordable

He’s never excitable
Yet ever re-writable

And on top of it all — the man’s portable!

Forever collected and calm
Multitasking with perfect aplomb

Greg’s got it made —
His source code’s pure Ved —

He’s the Rishi with infinite ROM

Greg’s a pure knowledge subscriber
(Which helps when your world is all cyber)

And wherever he’ll go
We take comfort to know

That his diet has plenty of fiber

Greg-G shows great animation —
He’s a color and motion sensation

His secret? Not hard —
A lesha-video card —

He’s a consciousness-based innovation

Well, what are this genius’s views?
His tastes in food, neckties, and shoes?

One thing we know:
His music tastes go

To pure algorithm and blues

We think of Greg Guthrie and sigh
He surveys this vast world from on high

Yet though he’s unbounded
He’s feet-on-the-grounded —

He’s a routers and hubs kind of guy

*********************

What about Greg’s user interface?
As everyone knows, it’s a winner-face

Easy to choose,
And to use, and to cruise —

An ideal guest at your dinner-place

This interface — we know, ’cause we we’ve tried —
Is friendliness — personified

This interface starts
With the purest of hearts —

It arises from deep down inside

The feelings Greg Guthrie can cause us!
The power of his intellect awes us

But along with that light
Is a might that makes right —

It’s his heart and its power that draws us

It’s a heart to which all feel connected
Where the light of pure Being is reflected

A warm heart that sports
Unlimited ports

And will never be password protected

*********************

And Greg likes to camp, we have seen
He treks where it’s wild and green

He pitches his tent,
Inhales the scent —

Then flips on his laptop machine

He traveled, this man of great reach,
To Russia and Latvia to teach

Crowds came, unending,
To learn of transcending

Greg gave attention to each

We’re happy that Greg’s here with us —
That together we’re all on the “bus”

As far as the grade
That Greg Guthrie has made —

We give him a C++ . . . +

We’re happy he’s part of our LAN
And leads our Technology Plan

We’re ever astounded:
His bandwidth’s unbounded —

Greg is a hard-drive-ing man

Ye search engines — go, shake a leg
Search round the world — we beg

Seek — ye shan’t find
His like or his kind

In the world, there’s only one Greg

Greg Guthrie’s an honorary Canadian
A Vancouverite if not an Arcadian

His life’s been sublime
Since that moment in time

When he brought Elaine, that great lady, in

Greg Guthrie — the man scarcely ages
And look at the show that he stages

Greg and his team
Have Compro-ed a dream

He’s one of our faculty sages

*********************

Greg does have one bug, one small glitch
One tiny design flaw, one hitch

Hard to explain
In a man with that brain —

No, we’re not saying we’ll switch . . .

And no, we’re not sending him back
Perhaps it’s not such a great lack

At first quite confusing,
By now it’s amusing —

He lacks our deep love for the Mac!

When this last little speck has been lightened
When this last tiny stress has been brightened

We’ll praise that great day
We truly can say:

Greg Guthrie’s completely enlightened

*********************

The bottom line question comes due:
Just what is Greg Guthrie’s IQ?

Suffice it to say,
Miles high . . . by the way,

He’s personal friends with Deep Blue —
(And Greg has a great CPU)

His PhD came from Purdue
He won high school science fairs, too —

Quite early he showed
That cranial load —

Greg has a great CPU

There’s nothing that Greg cannot do —
He even “does windows” — it’s true!

What numbers he crunches!
He eats them in bunches —

Greg has a great CPU

Rivals? If any, quite few
Admirers? Many — a slew

Installed base: just one —
But whoa! what he’s done!

Greg has a great CPU

On-line help? He’s the best — right on cue
Voice recognition? That too

Need help? Well, just ask
And he’ll multi-task —

Greg has a great CPU

His word, like his aim, ever true
A beautiful golden, his hue

A walking solution
Supreme resolution —

Greg has a great CPU

*********************

It’s our fortune that Greg is pure shareware —
Little more than the cost of his airfare

And the kids that he’s had:
For sure a great dad —