CLAUDE
You’re soundly asleep . . . it’s 2:00 in the morning
Oblivion . . . peaceful and sweet
When all of a sudden, without any warning
You’re wide awake, up on your feet
You’ve been awakened, awakened once more
By The Question — The Question’s returning
The Question has risen so often before
As always, for The Answer it’s yearning
You dress and go out, into the night
And walk till you find open land
The stars shine above you, brighter than bright
And there, looking upward, you stand
And there, gazing up at the infinite sky
At the heavens immeasurably wide
You pause, then you offer The Question on high
“What is gallium arsenide?”
They’re brighter than ever, the stars — and unending
You’re silent, expectant, and awed
Then comes a voice from the heavens descending
Majestic, it answers: “Call Claude!”
“How do I?” you ask — your heart soars with delight.
Your eyes with sweet joy overmisted
You hear the voice say as it fades in the night:
“Can’t help you — his number’s unlisted.”
• • •
Ladies and gentlemen, we introduce Claude
The person who needs but one name
The person whose brain has unlimited baud
A most worthy claimant to fame
Claude is our Gallium Arsenide pro
An expert — no reason to doubt it
Claude is the person to whom we all go
Whenever we’ve questions about it
Electronic devices, fields, and circuits
Here we find Claude’s three in one
Here’s Claude’s Samhita — and see how he’ll work it:
As a teacher, he’s second to none
Semiconductors . . . circuits . . . capacitors
Laplace’s and Maxwell’s equations
Claude is the most enthused of ambassadors
A tour guide through all modulations
Osciliscopes . . . microscopes (electron of course)
Microprocessors . . . meters . . . transformers
Amplifiers . . . Gauss’s Law . . . magnetic force
Schottky diodes . . . and Claude’s growing warmer
Waveshaping . . . flip-flops . . . magnetic flux
Claude is supremely at home
Admittance parameters — and here is the crux:
He shows us there’s no place like ohm
Bipolar transistors . . . op-amps . . . inductance
P-n junctions . . . feedback . . . convolutions
Claude rushes in where we feel reluctance —
He delights in his charge distributions
Open and closed loop configurations
Capacitance . . . transmission lines
Shift registers . . . conduction . . . amplitude modulations
Superheterodynes
Laplace and Z transforms . . . AC and DC
Gates . . . dielectrics . . . and noise
Parseval’s Theorem . . . his fingers aren’t greasy!
Claude is just one of the boys
Microchip waveguides . . . biasing techniques
Has the ice of your ignorance thawed?
Whatever electronic knowledge one seeks
The thing you should do is, call Claude
You’re all invited, if you are able
To visit Claude out at his place
You’ll notice, gracing the top of each table
Gallium Arsenide and Old Lace
Claude has worked years to establish his major
His digital logic unflawed
As those who have known him will readily wager:
There’s no one more solid than Claude
There’s no one more stalwart, in practice, in principle
No one with more dedication
Claude is as close as they come to invincible
So deep is his deep dedication
In his work for Maharishi, his jobs have been varied —
Whatever needs manning, he’ll man it
Untiring, whatever the load that he’s carried —
There’s only one Claude on the planet
Claude’s indefatigable, undefeatable
One pointed, his focus of mind
It’s clear to us all that Claude’s not repeatable —
Truly, he’s one of a kind
Claude has tenacity transcending tenacious
He’s the man who will never say no
Claude has capacity transcending capacious
There’s no limit how far he’ll go
Claude is our man of the startling statement
He’ll boldly go right to the brink
Causing some breaths to be held in abatement
And causing us, often, to think
He sells us computers at excellent prices
And ensures that we never get nervous —
He’ll come and he’ll show what the meaning of nice is
With superior day and night service
A long and great lover of language is Claude
Italian, Hindi, and French
The range of his interests is remarkably broad —
And now he has come off the bench
Long a student of Sanskrit, he’s taken the texts
Of the world’s most ancient tradition
And now he has helped with the step taken next:
Preparing a digital edition
In honoring Claude, we are honoring Susan*
We know that if Claude had his way —
If Claude could fulfill any wish of his choosing
He’d make Susan “Queen Faraday”
Claude works with ohms, Susan with tomes
And volumes appeal to them both
They have a most cross-hemispheric of homes
And in each case, it’s all about growth
Claude is one person who merits acclaim
One person we roundly applaud
Claude is one person who needs but one name
A name that we honor and laud
May he enjoy happiness, wealth, and great fame —
And Brahman . . . All glory to CLAUDE
October 2, 1997
* Susan Setzer, Claude’s wife for many years, was a literature professor at the time he taught engineering at MUM.