BILL
Into the hall he is led —
The computer lab, people had said
Students in rows —
Each countenance glows —
Now each one is turning his head
It’s hard to imagine the thrill
But picture it now, if you will
On every last screen
The same thing is seen —
These words: “Welcome, Mr. Bill”
“Mr. Bill” — so started the thing
Mr. Bill seems to have for Beijing
He laid the foundation
For collaboration
And all the great things that would bring
With Yunxiang and Dahui he planned —
Their vision enlightened and grand
And now all their hours
Bear beautiful flowers
And the fruits now expand and expand
High jumping — that was his sport
No offense to field and court
Bill was a star
At clearing the bar
According to Bill’s self-report
A jock — and in more than one way
Bill was the campus DJ
His campus resounded,
A little astounded,
At all of the records he’d play
Clearing the bar — that was great
And here came the finger of fate
From one bar to the next —
From the track to the text —
With destiny Bill had a date
This high jumper, Bill — by and by —
Next he jumped Rocky Mountain high
Amid summits of awe
He studied the law —
And down mountainsides learned how to fly
In Denver he ran into . . . Ved
And a blissful connection was made
With this scholarly man
A friendship began
Which over decades has stayed
Bill is our Prince of Protection
In law and in every direction
Our counsel, our guide
Alert far and wide
And Dean of Discerning Direction
When visa approvals start slowing
We know where Bill will be going
Ethiopia, Nepal
To the consulates all —
And leave consul generals quite glowing
Yes, Bill is our Vicar of Visas
What he’s done — our hearts go to pieces
Who could be wiser
As Pandits’ advisor? —
Who knows all the skids that Bill greases?
Months in Delhi — you thought it was hard?
It’s time to think again, pard
The facts should be shown
And the truth should be known —
And you’ll hold Bill in higher regard
He had to live somewhere, you know —
So where do renunciates go?
A bungalow on the links
With sweet lassi drinks
And golf every day with the pro
A tough job — and one man could do it
Mr. Bill — he somehow lived through it
A hard hand to draw
In service to law
It was fortunately Goldstein who drew it
He’s also the Sultan of Ski Trips
The Mogul of Mountain Snow Sweet Trips
Still the high jumper
The deep-powder-pumper
See the grin on those bluish but sweet lips
He’s blatantly brilliant and brainy
No lacunas (though he can be zany)
He’s more than just smart —
Want the brief on his heart?
Look at Leslee and Sammy and Lanie
Goldstein — let’s translate the name
It’s gold stone — so stake ye your claim
More than a nugget —
So large you can’t lug it
A source of huge fortune and fame
Bill is the King of the Court
A one-person spectator sport
The Lord of the Law
In accord with the Law —
And his favorite dessert is the torte
Yes, Bill’s pretty good — for a lawyer
Of all our esteem, the enjoyer
The Upholder of Right
A Soldier of Light —
And truly, most truly a warrior
His pinstripes are rarely requested
His vests have been long since divested
But this Lion of Law
With the giant guffaw —
Quite simply he cannot be bested
So welcome indeed Mr. Bill
Your birthday is truly a thrill
You’re silence in action —
It’s such satisfaction
To witness such sweetness and skill
Your Honors, I’m resting my case
All points are precisely in place
The evidence is clear:
Our hero’s right here —
Bill’s Number One in this space
The jury’s returned with its verdict
Some may already have heard it
The words, here enlarged,
Are GUILTY AS CHARGED —
Guilty of being quite perfect
And now, with famed focus and fixity
Bill-ji has gone and turned . . . SIXITY!
March 6, 2007 / 2010
