GREG GUTHRIE
Greg never seems to get tired
In fact, Greg is always inspired
Never once flagging,
Nor sagging, nor dragging
The reason? Greg Guthrie is WIRED!
Look beyond the man’s necktie and suit
Check the hardware — whoa, boy, it’s a beaut!
Benchmarks? The finest
Ratings? Divinest
He’s hard-wired where! The Absolute
His neuronal bandwidth? — tremendous
His synaptic network? — stupendous
You want some e-mail?
Man, can he wail!
Greg-G, you really can send us
With the power of Crays in his pocket
And the processing speed of a rocket —
You want to see fast!
Sorry — it’s past —
The clock isn’t made that can clock it
Here he sits — see how he’s beaming
We pinch ourselves — no, we’re not dreaming
Power, indeed —
His brain has such speed
We only can say, Greg is screaming!
Now Greg has a lot on his plate
(Perhaps a bit less on his pate)
From seaboard to seaboard
He’s King of the Keyboard —
Greg is the great among great
Greg is impossible to crash
Nothing gets lost in his trash
Greg likes to phone us
With this pleasing bonus:
“Call me if you need extra cache/cash”
His monitor never shows blips
(Except for his humorous quips)
Whoa! Time for a snack
Greg’ll be back —
He’s just gone to eat a few chips
These facts about Greg are reportable:
He serves us at rates quite affordable
He’s never excitable
Yet ever re-writable
And on top of it all — the man’s portable!
Forever collected and calm
Multitasking with perfect aplomb
Greg’s got it made —
His source code’s pure Ved —
He’s the Rishi with infinite ROM
Greg’s a pure knowledge subscriber
(Which helps when your world is all cyber)
And wherever he’ll go
We take comfort to know
That his diet has plenty of fiber
Greg-G shows great animation —
He’s a color and motion sensation
His secret? Not hard —
A lesha-video card —
He’s a consciousness-based innovation
Well, what are this genius’s views?
His tastes in food, neckties, and shoes?
One thing we know:
His music tastes go
To pure algorithm and blues
We think of Greg Guthrie and sigh
He surveys this vast world from on high
Yet though he’s unbounded
He’s feet-on-the-grounded —
He’s a routers and hubs kind of guy
*********************
What about Greg’s user interface?
As everyone knows, it’s a winner-face
Easy to choose,
And to use, and to cruise —
An ideal guest at your dinner-place
This interface — we know, ’cause we we’ve tried —
Is friendliness — personified
This interface starts
With the purest of hearts —
It arises from deep down inside
The feelings Greg Guthrie can cause us!
The power of his intellect awes us
But along with that light
Is a might that makes right —
It’s his heart and its power that draws us
It’s a heart to which all feel connected
Where the light of pure Being is reflected
A warm heart that sports
Unlimited ports
And will never be password protected
*********************
And Greg likes to camp, we have seen
He treks where it’s wild and green
He pitches his tent,
Inhales the scent —
Then flips on his laptop machine
He traveled, this man of great reach,
To Russia and Latvia to teach
Crowds came, unending,
To learn of transcending
Greg gave attention to each
We’re happy that Greg’s here with us —
That together we’re all on the “bus”
As far as the grade
That Greg Guthrie has made —
We give him a C++ . . . +
We’re happy he’s part of our LAN
And leads our Technology Plan
We’re ever astounded:
His bandwidth’s unbounded —
Greg is a hard-drive-ing man
Ye search engines — go, shake a leg
Search round the world — we beg
Seek — ye shan’t find
His like or his kind
In the world, there’s only one Greg
Greg Guthrie’s an honorary Canadian
A Vancouverite if not an Arcadian
His life’s been sublime
Since that moment in time
When he brought Elaine, that great lady, in
Greg Guthrie — the man scarcely ages
And look at the show that he stages
Greg and his team
Have Compro-ed a dream
He’s one of our faculty sages
*********************
Greg does have one bug, one small glitch
One tiny design flaw, one hitch
Hard to explain
In a man with that brain —
No, we’re not saying we’ll switch . . .
And no, we’re not sending him back
Perhaps it’s not such a great lack
At first quite confusing,
By now it’s amusing —
He lacks our deep love for the Mac!
When this last little speck has been lightened
When this last tiny stress has been brightened
We’ll praise that great day
We truly can say:
Greg Guthrie’s completely enlightened
*********************
The bottom line question comes due:
Just what is Greg Guthrie’s IQ?
Suffice it to say,
Miles high . . . by the way,
He’s personal friends with Deep Blue —
(And Greg has a great CPU)
His PhD came from Purdue
He won high school science fairs, too —
Quite early he showed
That cranial load —
Greg has a great CPU
There’s nothing that Greg cannot do —
He even “does windows” — it’s true!
What numbers he crunches!
He eats them in bunches —
Greg has a great CPU
Rivals? If any, quite few
Admirers? Many — a slew
Installed base: just one —
But whoa! what he’s done!
Greg has a great CPU
On-line help? He’s the best — right on cue
Voice recognition? That too
Need help? Well, just ask
And he’ll multi-task —
Greg has a great CPU
His word, like his aim, ever true
A beautiful golden, his hue
A walking solution
Supreme resolution —
Greg has a great CPU
*********************
It’s our fortune that Greg is pure shareware —
Little more than the cost of his airfare
And the kids that he’s had:
For sure a great dad —
Greg is our digital Care Bear
Brain hemispheres? Yes — quite a pair there
As noted, Greg has quite a fair pair
AI notwithstanding
His mind is commanding —
Greg is our digital Care Bear
In McLaughlin, in his ergonomic chair there
He’s restful, alert, and aware there
Our own Mighty Mouse
At home in his house —
Greg is our digital Care Bear
Though perhaps a bit lacking in spare hair
With Greg, we get more than our fair share
Our dedicated server
Desirer, deserver —
Greg is our digital Care Bear
When problems are making your hair tear
He gives neither vapor nor air ware
Don’t send him faxes
Use dial-up access —
Greg is our digital Care Bear
If some challenge should make you despair there
Greg-G shows great savoir faire there
Greg will pay heed to ya
Always he’ll speed to ya
Do a good deed to ya
Give service for free to ya
Greg holds the key to ya
He’s true omni-media —
Greg is our digital Care Bear
February 19, 2014
