Chris Jones

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CHRIS

He’s slender — but don’t let that fool ya
On the court he’s determined to rule ya

Forehand or back
Defense or attack —

He longs for the crowd’s hallelujah

Points after games after sets
He runs but seldom he sweats

His game is consistent,
Persistent, insistent —

And full of impossible gets

You smash it, you put it away
And then, to your major dismay —

How did he do it?
He somehow got to it —

That ball’s coming back, still in play

As a younger man, Chris was a diver —
High arcer, high gainer, high fiver

Correct angle — let go —
Then it’s gravity’s show —

Perfect sport for the seeker, the striver

In Ellen he met his true match —
Which of them’s claiming the catch?

This pair was industrious
With offspring illustrious —

First a boy and then later a batch

Did I mention that Chris is a creature
Who has a magnanimous feature

That finds its expression
In his profession —

Chris, as we know, is a teacher

And a teacher of teachers, to boot
So we offer our praise and salute —

With priorities placed
In “Consciousness-Based”

He’s a man renown and repute

One thing that’s certain to tickle him:
Conversation concerning curriculum

Courses of study —
I’m telling you, buddy —

They send him straight up the funiculum

He received a nice grant from the state —
Had a fine piece of work on his plate

Life was a dream
With that revenue stream . . .

What further grant fundings await?

On the School Board he’s acted as chair —
Which is only quite proper and fair —

As acting chair acting
With skills most exacting

His touch is respected and rare

He was the Raja of Rotating U —
India, South Africa too —

Sidha safaris
In kurtas and saris —

Next port of call — Timbuktu

He’s outstanding in outcomes assessment
He’ll say what the scores on a test meant

Chris is a fait ac-
compli with data —

He ensures good return on investment

And he’s taken on academic budgets —
The drudges, the fudges, the grudges . . .

Onto this plight
He shines his bright light

And sweeps out the smears and the smudges

Among his untally-able talents
Chris Jones is a beacon of balance

Unflappable, unflippable
Untrappable, untrippable
Untoppable, untippable
Unpoppable, untrippable
Unswappable, unchippable
Uncroppable, unblippable
The truth’s inescapable
This man is quite capable

Chris Jones has grit by the gallons

He’s still a diver — within
But also with mask, tank, and fin

Show him a surface
He swings into service —

He transcends it again and again

During down time, he’s hardly a slacker
No, Chris is a lusty backpacker

This modern-day seer
Is a cross-country skier

A hale and hearty outbacker

Through all of this, Ellen’s beside him
The one who elected to bride him —

And groom him as well —
We honor you, El,

For all that you always provide him

Together, a duo dynamic —
The scope of their work? Panoramic

This Governor pair
On this field so fair —

Their force has been truly galvanic

And his boys, brothers Jeremy and Benjamin —
They also merit our mentionin’

Two sons shining bright,
Each one a light,

Each of them clearly ascensionin’

He’s 65 — and still brightly wired
65 — we’re just as inspired

We plainly can see
That he may be re-

But Chris Jones is light years from –tired

And so, Mr. Christopher Jones,
We wish you sweet timbres and tones —

Your wishes fulfilled
Your tennis crowds thrilled

And bliss bubbling up from your bones

March 22, 2007
Expanded 2009 & 2014

“DEM JONES”

Sung to the tune of “Dem Bones,” the well-known spiritual song. It was composed by James Weldon Johnson (1871–1938), first recorded in 1928, and recorded by many artists since then.

Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

Chris Jones connected to Ellen Jones
Ellen Jones connected to Chris Jones
They both stay connected with iPhones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

Chris Jones connected to Jeremy Jones
Jeremy Jones connected to Chris Jones
They both stay connected with iPhones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

Chris Jones connected to Benjy Jones
Benjy Jones connected to Chris Jones
They both stay connected with iPhones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

The happy little family of — Chris Jones
With a happy collection of — iPhones
They’ve all got cute little — ring tones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

There’s a whole lot to like about — Chris Jones
We’re attracted to his sweet little pheromones
And the education lectures he — intones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

In the summer he eats ice — cream cones
We all love the meetings he — postpones
And the principles of living he — condones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

He’s a pretty cool guy that — Chris Jones
We love him right down to — his bones
People like to call him — bliss bones
Now hear the word of the lord . . . Dem Jones . . . Dem Jones

He’s a pretty cool guy that — Chris Jones
We love him right down to — his bones
We wish we could make some — Chris clones
Now hear the word of the lord
Now hear . . . the word . . . of the lord. . . . . .

March 17, 2013