BILL

Into the hall he is led —
The computer lab, people had said

Students in rows —
Each countenance glows —

Now each one is turning his head

It’s hard to imagine the thrill
But picture it now, if you will

On every last screen
The same thing is seen —

These words: “Welcome, Mr. Bill”

“Mr. Bill” — so started the thing
Mr. Bill seems to have for Beijing

He laid the foundation
For collaboration

And all the great things that would bring

With Yunxiang and Dahui he planned —
Their vision enlightened and grand

And now all their hours
Bear beautiful flowers

And the fruits now expand and expand

High jumping — that was his sport
No offense to field and court

Bill was a star
At clearing the bar

According to Bill’s self-report

A jock — and in more than one way
Bill was the campus DJ

His campus resounded,
A little astounded,

At all of the records he’d play

Clearing the bar — that was great
And here came the finger of fate

From one bar to the next —
From the track to the text —

With destiny Bill had a date

This high jumper, Bill — by and by —
Next he jumped Rocky Mountain high

Amid summits of awe
He studied the law —

And down mountainsides learned how to fly

In Denver he ran into . . . Ved
And a blissful connection was made

With this scholarly man
A friendship began

Which over decades has stayed

Bill is our Prince of Protection
In law and in every direction

Our counsel, our guide
Alert far and wide

And Dean of Discerning Direction

When visa approvals start slowing
We know where Bill will be going

Ethiopia, Nepal
To the consulates all —

And leave consul generals quite glowing

Yes, Bill is our Vicar of Visas
What he’s done — our hearts go to pieces

Who could be wiser
As Pandits’ advisor? —

Who knows all the skids that Bill greases?

Months in Delhi — you thought it was hard?
It’s time to think again, pard

The facts should be shown
And the truth should be known —

And you’ll hold Bill in higher regard

He had to live somewhere, you know —
So where do renunciates go?

A bungalow on the links
With sweet lassi drinks

And golf every day with the pro

A tough job — and one man could do it
Mr. Bill — he somehow lived through it

A hard hand to draw
In service to law

It was fortunately Goldstein who drew it

He’s also the Sultan of Ski Trips
The Mogul of Mountain Snow Sweet Trips

Still the high jumper
The deep-powder-pumper

See the grin on those bluish but sweet lips

He’s blatantly brilliant and brainy
No lacunas (though he can be zany)

He’s more than just smart —
Want the brief on his heart?

Look at Leslee and Sammy and Lanie

Goldstein — let’s translate the name
It’s gold stone — so stake ye your claim

More than a nugget —
So large you can’t lug it

A source of huge fortune and fame

Bill is the King of the Court
A one-person spectator sport

The Lord of the Law
In accord with the Law —

And his favorite dessert is the torte

Yes, Bill’s pretty good — for a lawyer
Of all our esteem, the enjoyer

The Upholder of Right
A Soldier of Light —

And truly, most truly a warrior

His pinstripes are rarely requested
His vests have been long since divested

But this Lion of Law
With the giant guffaw —

Quite simply he cannot be bested

So welcome indeed Mr. Bill
Your birthday is truly a thrill

You’re silence in action —
It’s such satisfaction

To witness such sweetness and skill

Your Honors, I’m resting my case
All points are precisely in place

The evidence is clear:
Our hero’s right here —

Bill’s Number One in this space

The jury’s returned with its verdict
Some may already have heard it

The words, here enlarged,
Are GUILTY AS CHARGED —

Guilty of being quite perfect

And now, with famed focus and fixity
Bill-ji has gone and turned . . . SIXITY!

March 6, 2007 / 2010